It is not even 20:30 and I am feeling exhausted. I booked an appointment a few weeks ago, to see a gynaecologist, thinking it is a routine check-up that every woman should have. Being the first time I’d been to one, I had been imagining weird things and my mother and Marc teasing me did nothing to calm the nerves. As it turned out, the exam its self was nothing to worry about.

However, during the scan, the Doctor found a large cyst on my right ovary. After having a discussion with Marc and I, she suggested that I have a hysterectomy done at the same time.  She went through all the information, from how the procedure is done and implications of having the surgery … everything. It was a lot to absorb in only half an hour. She wanted to have it done as soon as possible and it would mean six weeks off work. The earliest she could get me in is the 18th of February, which is the day I am to start my new job. Leaving the hospital and going to work, I could not help but think that I was letting Marc and my new team down, even though this was something completely out of my hands.

Most of the day has been an up and down affair. One moment I’m fine, next I’ll be thinking of the hysterectomy again and start worrying all over again. I spoke to Flutterbye, an online friend, earlier and she helped ease some of my fears. I was actually dreading telling my mother. I need not to have worried, though, since she was very supportive of the idea and thought it was a good idea to go through with it. What I also told her is that Marc and I are wondering whether that cyst (which is rather large) is having any effect on the muscles and whatever on my right side and causing so much discomfort.

Jean, hopefully, when you read this, you’ll understand why I didn’t send you a second e-mail after lunch …