Sometimes you can think time is going so slowly. At other times, minutes, hours, days can pass without even realizing it. For some reason, the catchphrase from that soapie was going through my head too: “Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.”
I am not sure if I can even make a link between the two – sand and time. But maybe it’s possible. You see, what I was thinking about, was that the harder you try cling to someone or something that you love, the more they slip away, like sand through your fingers. Instead, the time should be spent treasuring what you have, rather than grab hold so tightly that they feel confined, and thus slip away.
What brought this on? Two things really. Firstly, Gemma is growing so quickly. It’s hard to believe that she’s nine weeks old already. If you go back through my blog, you will see how she has grown. She is beginning to enjoy the outdoors now, so I have to give her time outside before it gets dark, to tire her out. Rather while it’s light, and I can see her, than when it’s dark and that strange cat comes round. I have been seeing it far too regularly lately.
The other thing, was seeing my soon-to-be-ex-husband, Marc, online. I have blocked every form of chat communication between us and have asked him to leave me alone. But then he went and joined my chat room online. I told him that I would be contacting my lawyer in the morning and he asked why, since this was a public chat place and he was not speaking to me. So, with it being a public chat place, and what happens in a private conversation stays private, it was not long before he disappeared again, thanking everyone in the room for being such great friends to me.
I can only imagine what had been said to him, but the damage had been done. I felt tense and anxious. Just seeing his nickname online, after all that had happened last year.
He loved me a lot. I think he still loved me. Things went really pear-shaped last year. Problem was, the more he tried to make me stay and show how much he loved me, the more claustrophobic and trapped I felt and had to get away. There is a lot more to the story than what I am telling you here. Last year was not a good one on so many levels. I have blocked a lot of it out.
But changing the topic again, to hobbies. I have started fabric painting again. This is my latest project and I’ll keep posting new pictures as I complete it. As you can also see from this entry, I am sort of back into my photography. I saw a rose at a good height and thought I’d take a few pictures from different angles and distances. For some reason, I just hate shooting red. It does not seem to come out that well. Comments on that picture would be appreciated.