It’s time we said goodbye
time now to decide
oh don’t you feel so small
dark is the night for all
This song has always been a favourite for me. Mostly it’s just the soothing sound of the music, but one line that has always held significance is: “Dark is the night, for all”.
We are conditioned to associate darkness with inactivity. This is usually the time where we shut down and recharge our bodies after a long and busy day. Unfortunately, with this inactivity, our minds are free to roam. Either in conscious thought, or subconsciously as we sleep.
For me, the last few nights have been exceptionally troubled. Yet I cannot pinpoint exactly which thoughts are the ones causing me the worst problems.
It did not help, though, having Chris come to me just before bed time, to tell me how his sister who lives 20min away cannot come visit him and his mother doesn’t want to know him. He said to me, if you don’t have family, then what do you have?
It reminded me that all my family are so far away and that I miss them so much. They are going through trials of their own. My mother has just had partial knee replacements done in both knees. My grandmother was ill with a bad case of bronchitis and to top it off, is waiting to go to oncology because of some lumps found in a recent check up. Whether or not it is cancer, we don’t know yet.
Consciously, I have not thought about it much, but it must be bothering me on some level. And speaking to Chris just brought it all out to the fore. The difference between his family and mine is that we speak on the phone almost daily. If not on the phone, then online. His sisters only call when they want something.