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That’s probably what I’ve been doing for the last couple days. If you had to ask why, I don’t think I could tell you. I am clicking tabs in my browser, finding any excuse not to write, or put it off, even for a few moments.

So it is all over. Friday saw me having my day in court. In the bus, on the way there, I could feel my resolve crumbling. How I did not shed a few tears, I don’t know. I had cried the night before, and Wednesday night too.

Once I got to the court, there was no time for thought. Well, I kept myself busy. Have pretty much done that since Friday, not wanting to think much. I found my lawyer’s son, Charl, and he handled all the paperwork for me. Then I sat reading my Kindle until the case was called. After a couple questions, my marriage was declared irreparable and finished.

After it was done, I went to Head Office for a quick visit to the pharmacy, since I had a script from my gynae to fill. While I was there, I saw Ronelle and her dog, Evan. As usual he was overjoyed to see me and nearly pulled Ronelle off her feet. I greeted Ronelle, who is blind, and we had a quick chat as she finished her walk around the park.

I kept myself busy for the rest of the day and into the early hours of the morning, not wanting to think. I only fell asleep when I was past exhaustion and got up again a few hours later. Cynthia helped defrost the freezer in my bar fridge and then I was off to Cresta for shopping where I bought a small microwave and a few other odds and ends.

Just as I was planning to have an afternoon nap, Victor popped in for a quick visit and I took advantage, asking him to help set the microwave up inside my cupboard. After he left, I lay down for a nap and then Dave came to fetch me for a braai (BBQ) at his place, with Shamee and Raymond, his son.

Once again, it was a gathering of quality over quantity as the only other people there were Jules and her daughter, Robyn. With the exception of Robyn, of course, we all chat on IRC and it was the first time I had met Raymond. We had a great evening, chatting and eating and having a few drinks. I had a couple glasses of chocolate liqueur called “Nachtmusik”.  First time I’d had a drink in a while and it made me nice and mellow.

Today has been spent relaxing. I slept late and had a nap after lunch, though for once, I woke up before Chris could knock on my door. That was a long time ago and I am trying to stay awake long enough that I sleep the whole night through…

Gemma has been extremely affectionate today. I don’t know how much is from her barely seeing me yesterday. She has spent a lot of time lying across my arm as I work on the computer. Right now, though, she’s got a bit of energy and is playing. She’s lost her ball again somewhere in the passage. I’ll have to go find it now …