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Ever have one of those moments where, for no real rhyme or reason, you feel the irresistible urge to laugh? You feel slightly silly for wanting to, but cannot resist it either. And that laugh just bubbles out…

Or maybe a seemingly random thought passes through your mind and once again, you just cannot contain the laughter. People may look at you strangely, but you can’t explain it because then, they would look at you even more strangely than before. It’s a joke that only you can appreciate.

I’ve been having moments like these fairly often lately.

Last week, I kind of accidentally deliberately stopped taking my antidepressant. On Wednesday morning, I forgot. On Thursday, I just was not bothered to take it. On Friday, I thought, what the heck, I’d already missed two days. I’ll just stop taking them completely.

It’s kind of like a door that was stuck half open has been opened completely … on to a whole new world of happiness that I never knew existed. Or maybe, I just forgot about.

I met Nate for the first time on Saturday. We have been online friends for years. We lost touch for a while, and then reconnected recently. One of the things he mentioned to me during the endless topics we spoke about, was that he could see a huge improvement in me lately, compared to last year, or even early this year. If I remember correctly, he said that I was back to my usual chirpy self.

Another friend that commented was Jake. He has known me for about three months at most. We met playing GateWars. Anyway, point being , he said that even in this brief space of time, he has seen improvements in me, though I can’t say I have noticed anything myself. He did not even know what I was like before the divorce.

A couple others have made similar remarks, and it is encouraging.

I am feeling far less stressed. I am eating less, and my choice of food has changed as well. I am listening to music more often now. Not just my moody rock songs, but more vibrant tracks which find me bouncing in my wheelchair, singing the lyrics at the top of my lungs.

Thankfully, the walls block out my bad singing 😀

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