You would expect a topic like this from an addict. They have been to the meetings, done so well, and then something happened to cause them to slip. They fell off the wagon. Well, I am not an addict. Chocolate does not count as that kind of addiction. But I have still fallen off the wagon.
That would be the motivation wagon. So much has happened over the last few months that my train has totally derailed. The wagon thrown off the road. Whatever image comes to mind when I tell you that the brakes were put on and all thoughts of dreams and inspiration have been thrown out the window.
Quite depressing, but so true. I have never really been a leader. More of a follower. I need motivation to keep on track and keep going. I have always needed someone there to make sure I don’t slip up and keep me motivated.
As I said, so much has happened that I would need a whole blog entry, or two, to bring you up to speed. Needless to say, I am finding it hard to get motivated again. I am tired. I am not sleeping well. I am sore, and sleep with an oxygen tube.
I have slipped into a rut and it seems impossible to get back on track. Very few, if anyone, keeps in touch with me, and there is nobody here with whom I can share my feelings with, or go shopping with or do anything for that matter. Yes, I have people to talk to. Casual conversation is limitless. But those heart to heart talks that you have with your best friend when they spend the night just do not exist.
Can someone turn on that light at the end of the tunnel?