, , ,

This is no longer a laughing matter. Don’t think it was one to begin with. But seriously, how much more – or what – has to happen before I start sleeping better and feeling less tired?

What’s that? “Not again?” Oh yes, again. I have so much on my mind, it is not funny.

Who wants to bet that I am not sleeping well, because I am worried about why I am always tired? I am on blood pressure medication. I’ve found a new range of multi vitamins, after not taking any for a few weeks. What else is there left to do? Maybe I should get a Vitamin B shot, or take sleeping pills.

And then there’s work. TPTB (The Powers That Be) finally woke up to the fact that moving the Development Team away from necessary and needed teams like Business and Production, was a bad idea. Slowly but surely, everyone has been moving back to Head Office. Now, it is my team’s turn, and I have to plan transport, and what to do with my wheelchair on the other side.

As a result, I was contemplating looking for a new job. There were other reasons as well. I have decided, however, that this is not the best route, for the time being and need to concentrate on more immediate problems – like my health.

And then there was a rather unwelcome blast from the past, that brought back unwanted memories and left me awake until late.

Maybe, had we met under different circumstances, we could have been casual friends, but like I told him in the message, going to that club was a mistake and it happened in a period of my life that I just want to forget. Marc was trying everything to make our marriage work, and his ideas included experimenting with swinging.

Different strokes for different folks. I feel that a person needs to be very comfortable with who they are and even more comfortable and trusting in their partner before entering into such a lifestyle.

Now, I am left with memories that have resurfaced and will probably have a few more restless nights before having successfully processed all the memories that message dredged up. Yes, I know, I should probably see a therapist.