It is hard to find the words to adequately express what I want to write about tonight, yet these are thoughts that I need to write down somewhere. To discover a quality about yourself is powerful knowledge. To understand this quality and know how to put it to good use is even more valuable still. Thankfully, I have a friend who has helped me understand and see how it has been affecting my life up to now, so that I can better use this knowledge going forward.
Each and every person has full control of their lives. Ideally, a person will make every decision themselves. From what time they get up in a morning, what they eat, or wear, and how they will get from one point to another. They will decide on their daily activities, what happens when, right to the moment their eyes close and they fall asleep.
To live such a life places all responsibility solely upon one person’s shoulders. But how many people do we know that are completely independent of everyone else? Honestly, very few, if any at all.
Bear with me here. If you hop on to a bus, you are placing your safety in another person’s hands, trusting that they are capable of getting you to your destination. This decision is automatic, and without thought.
This gets a little more complex when you are in a relationship. Suddenly you are making decisions for two, and your partner trusts you to make the right choices. This could be something as simple as what to cook for dinner. Your partner trusts that you will cook something you will both like, thus taking the responsibility of that decision from them and making their life a fraction easier. In return, you may trust your partner to pay the bills every month. Another burden lifted and life made easier.
Each of you have unconsciously given over a part of yourself to the other, trusting they will keep your best interests at heart.
What would you do if you became aware of the exact extent that your partner – or maybe even a friend – allowed you to make decisions on their behalf, or allow you to guide, or mould, areas of their life? Think about that for a moment. They might not realize the full extent of their trust in you, but the responsibility you suddenly feel is huge. Do you use this knowledge selfishly to benefit yourself, or do you try uplift your friend, or partner, knowing that with your help, they could be so much more than who they already are?
It is a very fine line that you tread, once you become aware of this knowledge. It is difficult to hold back and give just the right amount of guidance so that they keep going in the right direction. For them to keep going, without realizing that their actions may not be completely their own doing.
You need to be so careful that they do not see what is happening, because then, the game is up. Not that it is a game. Far from it. But the realization might scare them and cause an unwanted reaction, which may break a friendship instantly.
Knowledge of this is not an easy burden to bear. Some may even wish they did not learn it about themselves. Whatever the case, you cannot unlearn knowledge.